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You get the idea. Remember, The Box above was just one example. Everyone's Box is going to be different. For someone else, traveling or even dancing could actually be legitimate items in your Box. I am thinking of my friend, John, who is an avid dancer and even teaches dance. While not up there at the level of Mass attendance and personal insight, dancing is such a passion for him that I could not begin to imagine him with someone who does not share that passion. He loves to share it with the one he is most passionate about, his bride, and what a wonderful duo they are! The same thing goes for travel and many other items on the list that could have greater value for one person than another. The important thing here is to be honest with yourself and not to deny a real need.
On the flip-side, things that you once thought were important, typically, physical appearance, matter less and less as you get to know someone. It's funny how often I have seen a man who has had a very distinct look in the women he has dated over and over again, only to marry someone who looks completely different. The same goes for a woman who thought it was so important to be with a man who was tall and ended up with someone just her size. These are NOT examples of settling for less, but a matter of recognizing new priorities. Just as it is important to not deny real needs, it is just as important to not elevate something to a need that is not.
The whole point of The Box is this . . .
~ Do not waste time disregarding men or women because of traits that could have nothing to do with compatibility.
~ Do not try to convince yourself to believe something is good when it is not. If indeed, God created you to live out your vocation as a husband or a wife, then He also created the one He intends you to live out that vocation with to the fullest (John 10:10). When you disregard the items in your Box, it is like telling God, “Thanks, but no thanks. I've got a better idea.” Yet, when troubles arise, God is the first one blamed. “How could You let this happen to me?”
The Box is not about getting eight checks out of ten or a percentage, just the opposite. Every item in The Box must be checked. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for serious emptiness, let downs and unnecessary pain. Am I asking you to find the perfect mate? No! I am asking you to find the one who is perfect for you, the one God intends. Relationships require hard work. However, the more checks you have in your Box, the more productive and fruitful your joint work will be! God has sown into you the qualities in your Box that make up the treasure of who you are. It is up to you to protect them!
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